From 2007-2016 I experienced feelings of depression where I often doubted my self worth, purpose, and desire to live.
Those years were hard and having low self worth, purpose, and desire to live negatively effected my personal relationships and daily activities. I channeled those feelings through art - written poetry, paintings, drawings, and photography. It took almost losing my scholarship for college, ending friendships, and being admitted into a psychiatric unit for me to realize that I no longer wanted to or had to feel the way I was feeling. I wanted to experience joy, love and peace.
The journey has been a long one and some days I had to fight more than other days, but it was all worth it...and it continues to be worth it.
Here's How I Started:
• Movement - Once I started making daily choices to overcome depression, movement was my first step. I began practicing yoga, taking dance classes, and taking daily walks in nature.
Prior to my self-love journey, I had a fear of looking "stupid", thinking everyone was looking at me and judging me. My intention while taking these classes was to be so focused on my healing...so focused on my journey...that nothing (i thought) anyone was thinking of me mattered. All that mattered was my intention to love and take care of my self. Consequentially, adding these movement practices into my daily life created snowball effect.
• Change in diet - While practicing yoga, all of my yoga teachers talked about "balancing the chakras...align your chakras..notice your root chakra". Curious about what these chakras were, I researched them and learned one way to balance chakras is through FOOD by eating the rainbow! & The easiest way to do that is to eat a whole foods, plant based diet.
From there, I borrowed a ton of library books and watched YouTube channels about how food effects mental health. In my studies, I discovered years of eating a Standard American Diet was correlated with a decline in self esteem, mood, and desire to live.
This is where my plant-based journey began. & I felt a significant change in my emotional health.
• Change in music - During the years 2007-2016, I listened to songs that expressed anger, frustration, rage and sadness which magnified my own feelings of frustration, rage, and sadness.
As I continued the self-love journey, I learned that everything we read, watch, and listen to subconsciously programs our thinking patterns.
I replaced sad music with self-help podcasts (Actualized.org was my biggest one). & I replaced television with self-help, yoga, and nutrition books. I also spent a whole year saying one mantra - "I am confident. I am powerful. I am strong." I chose this mantra because for years I felt ugly, worthless, and weak. My intention was to speak the complete opposite into my self. To practice speaking to myself with love and kindness. I repeated this mantra to myself in the morning, while taking a shower, during my walks, and during meditation.
By 2018 (2 Years of consistent practice), I was able to redirect negative feelings, thoughts and emotions about myself. I was able to feel joy for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. I was able to feel at peace. Since then, I have continued these practices and have shared them in my yoga classes (Lol I forgot to mention, I became a yoga teacher during this journey), on my Instagram (@healthywithifemi), and with anyone I get a chance to connect with.
Now - every day away from what I experienced from 2007-2016 fills me with deep gratitude. I am grateful even on hard days because I have learned how to move through my emotions without judgment through movement, food, and music.
To anyone experiencing depression and making daily choices to move through and out of it,
I hear you & I see you. Be patient with yourself and practice the act of self love.
One step at a time. You will get there. 💛
With Gratitude,
Nicole ✨💕
Recommendations:
• Actualized.org (YouTube Channel)
• The Gifts Of Imperfection book by Brene Brown
• Finding Your Own North Star book by Martha Beck
• Brene Brown (any TedTalk)
• Yoga with Adriene (YouTube)
• Londrelle - Forgiveness Meditation (song)
• Beautiful Chorus (music)
• Geminelle - I Forgive Myself & I Release (song)
• Geminelle - My Energy Is Infinite (song)
• Geminelle - Everything I Need (song)